It’s the winding down of winter, and everything is cozy and warm over here… At least as far as anyone might notice. There’s a chill breeze blowing off the mountains, birds are singing in the trees, and there’s plenty to be grateful for. And I’m exceedingly grateful for all of it.
And then there’s the struggle.
There’s always a struggle. Life tends to bring them around at the moment when you think you’ll be okay, another one surfaces, and you begin to wonder if it was all just a farce. Could be. Could be real. Maybe, it could be just a way to give you a breather, and let you begin to have faith again? Do you suppose God plans those breathers, so you have a moment of peace to regather your thoughts?
Today, I was feeling overwhelmed with stuff, and I looked up a friend. I didn’t need anyone to FIX anything. I just needed to feel heard. The last several months I’ve felt like I was “doing life alone” because the kids are busy, and friends are further away than usual, and here in the desert – more about that elsewhere – I just haven’t felt like I had much support, or encouragement. In fact, if I were being totally honest, which I do tend to be… I’d admit that I feel abandoned.
Abandoned in the struggle.
I’ve been here before. Here in this place, where I have to fight my way through to the surface. The struggle is real, and yeah… I’m alone. With God.
In the desert, seeking the face of the mountain… Have you seen it? The mountain? The mountain where God speaks? Where He lifts you up and holds you there, safe, on higher ground?
I revealed the story (here if you want to read) and shared the lessons being learned. But there’s so much more…
If I look deep, I’m sure I’ll find more and more. But the biggest thing I’m learning is the sense of foreboding, the fear of the unknown, isn’t real. It’s just a sense of fear that holds on for a bit, then it lets go. When it lets go, I find myself in places where the wilderness fades into the community and there are many, ready to be part of my existence.
I have many friends.
My lesson learned today. I have many friends. Sometimes they find me. Other times, I have to reach out to find them. But when the time is right, they appear.
If you’re ready to be found, move over and leave room for someone else to join you on the bench, at the table, in your life. There’s plenty of room, invite someone in…